R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts for R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women
“Dignity, in fact, is invariably the mask to assume under difficult circumstances: It is as if nothing can affect you, and you have all the time in the world to respond. This is an extremely powerful pose.” The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers
During my midlife divorce, there were times I did not act with dignity. In looking back, I let my emotions completely take over and I acted more like an adolescent than a self-confident, competent, good woman. I was so devastated by the fact that my wasband didn’t want me that I became someone who lost site of who I really am. I was angry and sad and devastated and bitter and all of those useful, but after too long, ugly emotions. A better strategy would have been, as Robert Green and Joose Elffers recommend, to have maintained my composure, my dignity, my confidence no matter what ridiculous things my wasband was doing. I think when we start ranting and raving and begging that they come home or constantly keep trying to get answers from them or try to find out what they are doing, that we become weak and pathetic ourselves. They are the ones who are acting in wrong and deceitful ways, yet we are the ones who are usually groveling around begging them to come back to us. They should be begging for us to even talk to them. There are women on the Radical Women Network site who have been discussing this in the forum. Their thoughts are powerful and inspiring and honest. Don’t degrade yourself because he has made the choice to live an ugly, pitiful life. Have confidence in yourself and in God. As long as your wasband has you in his grips of sadness and anger and groveling, he is in complete control. He doesn’t deserve you. He chose to have his sorry, embarrassing life. You are worth infinitely more than all the rubies and gold and diamonds in all the world. Don’t waste your time on someone who has willfully, continually made destructive choices and hurt so many, many people by his selfish and self-centered actions, and yet somehow still tries to make it your fault. Don’t go there. When dealing with him, take your time. Be dignified. Make choices that are good for you. He has made his final choice. Now you calmly, confidently and with dignity make yours.
"Last of all I want to remind you that your strength must come from the Lord's mighty power within you." Ephesians 6:10 (The Living Bible)
