R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts for R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women

“Happily remarried, in a new city with a new job, Carolyn Bourassa felt the time was finally right to get rid of her 10-year-old divorce papers. Somehow, though the recycling bin didn’t seem appropriate. She wanted the papers burned – flamboyantly, in-your-face- torched – in a symbolic act of closure and renewal.”

I think that would be good for all of us at some point. A decision to finally let the angst of our divorce go. Once-and-for-all. No turning back to mull over and anguish over the old hurts and despair. That’s why the article by Stephanie Simon in the Wall Street Journal (9/12/09) caught my eye. “Every summer for 85 years, Santa Fe artisans have built a giant effigy of wood and chicken wire, then stuffed it with woes. They named the thing Zozobra, but many here just call him Old Man Gloom. And when he is stuffed full, thousands of people gather to watch him set afire in a spectacular ritual of public catharsis.” “Jilted brides bring unused wedding dresses. Cancer patients bring hospital gowns. Foreclosure papers and credit cards, police reports, photographs of old lovers and uniforms from jobs gone bust” are all appropriate woes to feed Zozobra. For participants it’s a freeing, feel-good experience. The timing has to be right, but sooner is usually better than later. So the last call for “offerings” was made last week, the fire lit, and all the woes went up in smoke … including Ms. Bourassa’s divorce papers. “Those are signed originals in there.” She said. For an instant, she looked hesitant. Then she beamed, “I don’t need them. I don’t want them,” she said. “I have a new life.”

I’m sure it is empowering to be standing “shoulder-to-shoulder with about 20,000 other people getting rid of their respective Gloom in one spectacular blaze and then celebrating moving on. Maybe the R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women could meet in some field somewhere every year and have a Zozobra of our own. Let’s think of an appropriate name for that. E-mail me with suggestions: suzysuccess@kc.rr.com.

P.S. Check with your attorney. I have no idea how long we need to keep those papers, legally, but I love the idea of seeing all of that go up in smoke and moving joyfully on to our new life.