R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts for R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women
“Sometimes getting a whack on the side of the head can be the best thing to happen to you.” Roger von Oech, Author of A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative
A Midlife Divorce is a whack not only on the side of your head, but a slam on your whole body and soul and on almost every part of your everyday life. A Midlife Divorce is one of the biggest most disruptive challenges of life. A simple whack on the side of the head might throw you off balance for a few minutes, but a full force punch to the gut and right hook to the jaw like divorce can take months and years to recover from. It knocks you out temporarily. You stumble groggily to the corner. Everything changes. Your living situation, your name, your relationship with family and friends, traditions, lifestyle, surroundings, employment and on and on and on. Is there any good news or anything positive in that kind of blow to your whole body and mind? The unequivocal answer is YES!! You will definitely have a time of cleaning up the blood and crying all the tears and screaming and that’s an exhausting trip. But when that part of the process is mostly under control and you decide to step out of that ring, never will there be such a clear-cut opportunity to design the life you want. Divorce is one of the few things you will ever face that will give you such a chance to make new life choices that really make a difference. What am I going to do now? What am I going to teach my children? Where am I going to live? Who are my friends going to be? Am I going to change my name? Am I going to go back to school? You didn’t choose it and didn’t want it, but now you have been given this chance to rebuild a brand new life. You might say, “I don’t want a new life … I just want my old life back!!” But, the truth of the matter is, as much as you think you want it, you’re not going to get it. That sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. Staying in the ring for more abuse is not the answer, anyway. The other truth is that you now have a chance to walk away from the destructive parts of that old life and create a bright, fulfilling, adventurous and magical, marvelous new life. Take this Super Whack and use it as a turning point -- a launching pad for gratitude and graciousness and glorious new adventures. You have two choices. # 1: Stay in the ring waiting for another hit or cower on the mat crying, being angry, being resentful, and being bitter and miserable for the rest of your life. Or #2: Get up, dust yourself off, wipe your nose on your sleeve, and start minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day creating the new life you want -- the life beyond your wildest dreams -- the life that will reflect the best of who you are. It’s your choice. The referee's counting.
"Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified."
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
