R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts for R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women
“Manifesting your dreams begins with the difficult task of discovering what they really are.” Debbie Ford
A midlife divorce makes us re-evaluate almost everything. Especially ourselves. Recovery demands that after our grieving and sobbing and rage have subsided, we have to take a deep breath and realize that all those emotions, as necessary as they are in the process, will not get us to the new life we desire. To get from devastation to delight, we must figure out what delight means to us. At a midlife divorce recovery support group meeting last night we talked about what legacy we want to leave. What do we each want to do with this one wild precious life we’ve been given? What mark do we want to leave on the people we come in contact with every single day on this planet earth? The question “What legacy do I want to leave?” in the early stages of part 2 of our life is kind of like asking a kindergartner what she wants to be when she grows up. Often, as women especially, we truly wanted to be wives and mothers along with doing some job we enjoyed to help pay the bills. Often, our life just tumbled into place without much real thought. We might have felt we didn’t have the luxury of being totally immersed by a private dream. Now at this new stage of recreating what our life will be, we may have an opportunity to re-look at choices we put aside long ago. Think of things you loved to do as a child. Think about what classes made you excited when scouring your college handbook. Even though you may still have children at home, you may also have a bit more freedom to explore new areas of interest. And in midlife, your children may be well on their way to college or on their own. And you may not even have children. Whatever your personal situation, carve out some “alone” time, look deeply within and evaluate your own gifts and interests. Ask God to reveal his plans for you. Then quietly wait for signals and signs. Think about what you are good at. Take note of what tasks and experiences bring you an inner glow of competence. Can you contribute in ways that use your unique and delight-bearing gifts? And don’t overlook the fact that you may be fulfilling your highest calling by simply living your day-to-day life with a new awareness and a new appreciation for every opportunity to shine your light in the simplest (but also most profound and lasting) ways. Get totally into the moment and see all the contributions you already make that really make a difference to someone. What actions bring new insight and encouragement to others? Be constantly curious and excited about your unique place in life. As you learn to live with new attention and mindfulness and openness, your way will become more clear as God's Spirit begins to move you in the direction you should go.
“God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.” Ephesians 3:20-21 (The Message)
