R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts for R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women
"Life is to be spent, not saved." D.H. Lawrence
There are challenges in middle earth ... in that space called midlife, especially if you are dealing with a divorce after a long marriage. In these middle years, you are often facing menopause, an empty nest, having to go back to work, moving. Those are all serious and sometimes scary challenges. But, still, I love this time of life. I have more freedom to make decisions about how I will spend my time. You might be thinking, “After this divorce, I have NO freedom to make the decisions I want to make. I have to find a way to support myself after a lifetime of supporting my wasband in his career and supporting my children in their journey to becoming mature, productive, good and well-balanced adults. I now have to give up many of the benefits of being married and spend my time trying to survive on my own. ” Those thoughts are true, but usually in midlife our children (partly because of our day-to-day efforts and care all these years) are on their way to being mostly self-sufficient. We don’t have to “be available” like we were when they were younger … and which, by the way, I loved. Now, at this stage of life, we can choose to go to night school or to start an online business or to get up early and have an extra cup of coffee before work or to paint the walls in the bedroom the way we want. This time of life has many, many great things about it. Something else I love is the fact that I can share my life and time in so many ways. Volunteering at a children’s center. Having a glass of wine on the deck with my neighbor/girlfriend down the street in the evening. Or like this week … a couple of nights ago I stayed with three of my grandsons so their parents could go to The Shakespeare Festival. (We had a blast!) Today, I’m spending the day helping my daughter who is about to put her house on the market. (We’ll work hard, but we’ll have precious time to talk!) I will have to catch up on my work later, but I love being able to choose how to spend my time. Our children and grandchildren are often the beneficiaries of our new freedom. But we also have the freedom to say, “no, I can’t do that tonight, I have book club or I’m meeting some friends for dinner or even, I have a date!” I know most of us since our divorce now have to work a full-time job, but that still leaves time to spend as we want. Our future is in our own hands. That is frightening – and exhilarating! As we say on the www.radicalwomennetwork.com: Don’t waste this one wild and precious life!
“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJV)
