R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts for R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women
“Fifty is the New Fifty” Suzanne Levine
During a midlife divorce, all that change is scary. But “The ‘change of life’ can set women free,” according to a headline in the Kansas City Star recently. Whether going through divorce or not, Suzanne Levine, 67, author of Inventing the Rest of Our Lives, brings us the just-published ‘Fifty is the New Fifty,’ a 10-step self-help program encouraging women to celebrate themselves instead of focusing on the anti-aging techniques to recapture youth. Among the themes she addresses is the fact that “No” can be a very liberating word at this stage of life. We can finally find the courage to say, “No” to things we don’t want to do, or things we disagree with or things that don’t seem right. Barrie Arachtingi, a psychologist from Lawrence, Kansas says that menopause makes us not care so much what other people think, and care more about we think. And that can be a good thing. We aren’t advocating a complete change of personality where you become selfish and self-centered, but midlife can definitely be a time of paying more attention to your own goals and dreams. Most of us, as women at midlife have spent most of our lives seeing to the needs of others. Now is the time to see more to our own needs. “Do unto yourself as you have been doing unto others,” Levine encourages. And especially during a midlife divorce, it’s the old “put your oxygen mask on first.” One positive thing about facing a divorce at this time of life is that you have a completely new slate on which to write the rest of your story. Most of us in that place, at first just want our old story back, but if divorce is final or soon to be final, we don’t have that option. But we do have a choice: move on with power and joy or spend the rest of our lives moaning about what couldda been or shouldda been. You have two definite roads you can take, and moving forward to an exciting new life is always better than staying stuck in anger and bitterness and despair. Levine says she is finished with labels and roles and the expectations of other people. Especially after the end of a marriage at midlife, we can have a chance to create a life based on our own new perceptions of what life can be. Find those new dreams. Travel those new roads. Find those new adventures. This may be the most rewarding time of all!
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:29 (NIV)
