2009 - MY YEAR TO SHINE/Valentine's Day Tips
I am going to leave this post up for another day or two. I am still getting lots of calls with women struggling with Valentine's Day. I know how you feel. I cried my way through several of my own. And it's worse if your ex-Valentine has a new love. Valentine's Day becomes an agonizing ordeal for people after an unwanted divorce. As a midlife divorce recovery expert, I know that many suddenly single people I'm talking to are already feeling angst about the day.
Valentine's Day advertising and promotions have been everywhere 24/7 these last few weeks. They are hard to ignore. Heart-shaped pizzas; oil changes for your Sweetheart; buy a red car for extra dollars off; and of course, all the regular valentine staples: candy, flowers, jewels, lingerie.
You begin to feel as if you are the only person in the universe without a true love. And if your ex-spouse has a new love, you're feeling even worse!
Here are some simple, practical tips for Valentine's Day if you are recently divorced or in the process or soon to be divorced.
• Change your focus.
Celebrate love and not lovers in general or a certain love in particular.
There are all kinds of love to celebrate:
Friends
Children/grandchildren
Extended family
Neighbors
Co-workers
Pets
Your community
God
• Celebrate yourself.
Use Valentine's Day to appreciate everything that is good about yourself. Remember that you were created just exactly the way you are. You must learn to be comfortable with and to love yourself before you can really love others.
Do something to pamper yourself - go to a spa; get a special "power cup." Give yourself a manicure. Make a list of everything that makes you unique - list your strong points.
• Find ways to share yourself with others.
Volunteer in the community
Take care of grandchildren or a neighbor's children so they can have the evening out.
Take cookies to a nursing home or assisted living facility.
Give the sacker at the grocery store a valentine card with $20 in it.
Think of all the lonely people you come in contact with that you could encourage.
• Refine your vision for future relationships.
Make three lists:
1. Absolute deal-killers in future relationships. What do you definitely not want? Be specific!
2. What attributes do you want to find in future relationships? Again, be specific!
3. Consider what kind of person you need to be to attract the relationships you want.
Change from being focused on "poor me." Concentrate instead on celebrating every kind of love you have in your life to enjoy and share. Let your light shine!
Taking the initiative and choosing to celebrate love on Valentine’s Day is empowering. You will find that you are not just getting through the day, but you can make it one of the best Valentine’s Days ever. And you can set the tone for embracing a whole new love-filled life that is put in motion by you and all the amazing gifts you have to share.
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Hey all of you R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women out there: I am going to be Featured on a Network Broadcast on WBCL Radio on February 11th, and you can listen on your computer.
I will be sharing about transforming the despair of your divorce into an unexpected good on a radio interview show via The WBCL Radio Network originating out of Fort Wayne, IN. The host of the show is radio personality Lynne Ford.
To listen go to: www.wbcl.org and click on The Morning Show archives.
Date of broadcast:
February 11, 2009
Time:
9:05 - 10:00 a.m. (est)
Spread the word to anyone who might need to hear some encouraging words about the Divorce Recovery Journey and the transformation of your life that is possible.
Thanks!
Suzy
Posted by Frisky Ridgewood at 6:28 AM
