Divorce Recovery and the Holidays

Maybe it’s reading all these books about women taking control of their finances. I’m seeing more than ever that many of us need to stop acting like being successful is beyond us. For years, I said, “I don’t want to talk about the money stuff. Let someone else worry about the money stuff.” Well, the truth is, if you don’t have your finances under control, nothing else in your life will be in control either. My financial life is my responsibility, and unless I know exactly where I am on that front, it’s hard to do anything else effectively. I’m going to stop waiting for Prince Charming to figure out my finances. I’m going to get help and learn to do it myself. Even if all of your brain cells seem to be on the creative, verbal, sometimes loosy-goosy (but fun) side of your brain, all of us are capable of taking control of our money. All of us need to get our act together here at year’s end. Face your finances squarely and determine where you are exactly. Let’s don’t get caught up in a December spending spree no matter how good the sales seem. Let’s all stay within our means. (Splurge on a double chocolate-peppermint latte with whipped cream on top if you need to now and then!) When I was first divorced was the first time I had been forced to do the money stuff. I grew to actually like paying the bills. I learned to say “no,” when I didn’t have the money, and that is empowering in itself. Make money your friend. Most Americans spend at least three months paying off debts incurred during the holidays. Don’t do that. Use that creative side of your brain. Give gifts of time instead of things. I was awake at 3:59 this morning thinking about everything I have to buy before Christmas. As soon as I finish this blog, I’m going to get my checkbook out and see how much money I have to spend. I will think of ways to make my money go farther. I will cross off things that we can do without. But I will also think of ways to make this the best holiday season ever!

Join www.radicalwomennetwork.com and download the document 101 Ways to Survive the Holidays While You’re Surviving Divorce. It’s got some really great suggestions for making this season meaningful and enriching and fun. That document will give you all kinds of ways to make the celebrations after divorce full of good cheer.