101 Ways to Move Forward After A Midlife Divorce
Tip #76. Choose Yourself. This post is from “Cobblestone” who submitted it to the www.RadicalWomenNetwork.com discussion forum. I thought it was so insightful I decided to use it as one of the series for 101 Ways to Move Forward After a Midlife Divorce. Here is Cobblestone's post from yesterday:
“I just want to post this for anyone still stuck in the middle of the roller coaster ride. I was there and I barely came through it alive. I made it finally to the other side and I wish that someone had told me at the very beginning that I needed to choose me. I kept waiting for my ex-husband to decide if he wanted to be with me or with her and I kept waiting for him to choose. I so desperately wanted for him to choose me. When I finally figured out that I could choose me, that is when I began to get better. That is when I began to take my life back. That is when I didn't care anymore who he chose. I chose to live my life according to my plans and not according to what would make him happy and convince him to come back. I chose to have a dog (he hated animals). I chose to go back to school and get my master's degree (he thought it was a waste of time and money). I chose to live in a home that was comfortable and messy but welcoming and loving (he wanted order and neatness and quiet). I chose laughter and spontanaity and joy (he wanted quiet and plans, etc.) I chose to work as a waitress in the evening in order to afford to go back to school (he wanted me to work during the day as a real estate agent and make a six figure income). I chose less money and less material possessions (he wanted to appear to be wealthy and perfect). I chose to live a simpler life that makes me happy. Ultimately, my choices sent him to go live with his girlfriend but now that he has been living with her for a year, he tells me that his new life is not all that great and he wishes that he could share in the reality that I have created. Too bad. It is too late for him but it is just the beginning for me and I am so happy that I finally chose me. My advice is to take this time and start to choose the things that you want from life. This is your opportunity, don't let it pass you by. Good luck to all of you!”
All I can add to that is “Choose you, today. See what you really want to give to life. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful and full and fulfilling your life can be!”
