R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

“You must be present to win.” ~ Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer – and other lessons from the real, real world by Adair Lara

After a midlife divorce, it is easy to just sort of “check out” of life. That’s normal for a while. You have to take the time you need to grieve and get your feet back under you. But when you have spent the time necessary to get yourself grounded and at least doing the basics of every day life, you need to start trying to re-discover your joie de vivre (your joy of life) as the French call it. No matter what “disaster” we face in our days on this earth, we have to be fully present in both the good and the bad. We need to appreciate life, itself. We need to, as the book above encourages us, to be in the here and now. If we think life is over after our divorce, life (with all of it’s beautiful potential), will be over in a way. If we think we will always have a second-rate life, we probably will. If we think we will never be really happy again, we probably won’t ever find the joy we deserve. It’s easy for me to say these things now from where I am in the divorce recovery process. In the middle of it all, I personally felt hopeless and unbelievably sad and depressed and worried that my life would never be very good again. I want to shorten that distressing time for you. I have dealt with literally thousands of women who have been where you are and have rediscovered that it truly is “wonderful to be alive!” Remember, this is a process. Life is a journey. And you will never win if you don’t fully participate. So as soon as you can, get back to life … full, wild, unpredictable, (but ultimately wonderful) life in all its ever-changing glory!


“It is a wonderful thing to be alive! Ecclesiastes 11:7 (The Living Bible)