R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

“And life – especially in the crucible of a divorce – is really a continual series of decisions about how to act.” ~ Gabriel Cohen in Storms Can’t Hurt the Sky

Gabriel Cohen’s statement “a continual series of decisions about how to act,” sounds so in control, when almost everything that happens in a divorce is so out of control. Almost everything in my midlife divorce experience either made me unbearably sad or unbelievably angry. I felt as if I was on a tsunami wave of emotion most of the time. But the things that Gabriel learned in his “Buddhist path through divorce,” are also principles we find in the Bible, and they are, as he also discovered, profound. We cannot control the decisions of someone else; we cannot control the sometimes-volatile circumstances around our divorce; we cannot always control our emotions. But we can control our actions. We can make the choice to act honorably. We can choose to do the right thing, whether we feel like it or not at the moment. Those lessons don’t take hold overnight, but I, like Gabriel, have learned through this experience that I always, always have the choice to do right. And that karma, or whatever you want to call it, of reaping and sowing inevitably and without fail, proves true. What we plant … whether good or evil … always returns to us. Take hold of your God-given spirit of power and love and self-control. Plant the seeds of goodness; embrace the inner spirit of God’s holiness and righteousness in every situation today and see what happens. I am not always inclined to do the right thing on my own, but when I surrender and let God’s spirit of love work through me and in me, I can make infinitely better decisions about how to act.

“For God does not give us a spirit of timidity – of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear (or anger)– but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 (The Amplified Bible)