R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts
“A fundamental sign of mental health is one’s realization that life is hard.” ~ Scott Peck in The Road Less Traveled
I am an optimist by nature. Sometimes to a fault. I am so eager to see the good in people and things that some say I am unrealistic and naïve. But the more I study optimism, the more I am convinced that being basically optimistic is a better way to live than expecting the worst at every turn. At the same time, as Scott Peck reminds us, we all know in our gut that “life is hard.” Life is full of sadness, tears, troubles and pain. We cannot ignore that fact. Not only Scott Peck, but also many religions say that the key to peace of mind is to understand and accept that truth. At the very beginning of my own midlife divorce recovery, I was not optimistic that my life would ever be very good again. I tried to be upbeat, but in my heart of hearts I thought I would always carry around this kernel of pain in the middle of my chest and in the back of my mind where no one could see it but me. And, I’ll admit, even eight years later, occasionally when I see my ex-husband, I still wonder what went wrong. But it’s not a smoldering pain. It’s not a hurt anymore. It’s a realization that hard things happen in this life regardless of our best efforts. It’s also a realization that the heartache we experience can bring power and a potential for good. The key is to make sure that we let the pain that we face refine us instead of destroy us. The agonizing hurt of my divorce absolutely made me a better, more caring, more fulfilled person than I would have been had my life never experienced any real soul-expanding difficulty. Life is even more precious now. Joys are fuller. A desire to help others is more demanding. The light of the lessons I’ve learned shines on its own without so much effort on my part. God definitely has used my pain for gain. In more ways than I can even count. Let your distress drive you closer to God. Try to see what you can learn that will make the big picture of your life even brighter. Life is hard. But the lessons we learn from pain are sometimes the most enlightening, empowering lessons of all.
“You let this distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss. Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, and end up on a deathbed of regrets.”
~ 2 Corinthians 9-10 (The Message)
