R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts
“’I’m lonely for myself.’ Erin (9th Grader) Erin speaks eloquently for many of us. We’ve been so busy being the good wife … the good mother, … the good daughter, the outstanding employee, the successful entrepreneur, and everyone else’s idea of what perfect is that we’ve lost touch with who we really are.” Elaine St. James, author of Living the Simple Life
Who am I? After a midlife divorce that question seems to loom even larger than ever. Recovery can’t really start until each of us begins to answer that question in a deeper way. Even though the superficial answers to that question can change, the true answer is more real and all-encompassing than any description or label. Even though we no longer have the label wife, we strive to fulfill all of the roles that still apply …. mother, daughter, friend, employee and a myriad of other names we attach to ourselves. That’s okay, but what we really need to focus on is that the person we are transcends every role we fill (or no longer fill). For a while I wondered what to do with myself when one of my longest, most cherished roles was gone. Wife. I am no longer that role to my ex-husband. And at first, that thought used to make me cry. But not having that role does not change who I am at my deepest level. I am above all a worthy, wonderful, unique, loved, cherished, embraced child of the Most High God of Heaven! I am his above and beyond all else. He will never abandon me or toss me away or move on to “someone” he likes better than he likes me. His unfathomable love is steadfast and unshakeable. That’s the only role that should really matter to us. We should do the best we can to fill all of our other roles within the context of our true identity as God’s child. We should be the best mother, sister, friend, employee and all of that. But when we are doing our best before God, his opinion is the only one that really matters. The result is that we re-discover who we really are …. A glorious, loved child of God whom God has promised to bless in ways that we can’t even imagine right now. Trust that promise. Be that person completely. It supercedes and enriches any other role we will ever have.
“The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.” ~ Proverbs 29:25 (The Message)
