R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts
I am trying to do this from Panera in Wichita, Kansas and the internet keeps disconnecting, so there will be no picture and no verse at the end. I will try to find a better station tomorrow. I do like the thoughts today, though.
"Pause on the threshold of any crowded room you are to enter, and consider a moment your relation to those who are in it." ~ One of the Twelve Disciplines from Wake Up and Live by Dorthea Brand
“This exercise comes directly from all the finishing schools for young ladies that ever existed -- A proper lady was taught, when entering a gathering of any sort to pause just a moment until she had found the hostess and then the guest of honor. (Failing such guests, the oldest person in the room was to be singled out). The purpose of this exercise was to learn to size up a roomful of people at a glace, discover what it holds, first in the way of obligation and then in the way of companionship or one’s own interest.” Early on during my midlife divorce recovery, I was self-conscious and nervous and apprehensive about just about every gathering of any kind that I attended. Whether it was my son’s swim team parties or church or a friend’s child’s wedding or whatever. I knew I was going to have to answer questions about how I was doing. I worried someone might say something that would make me cry. Sometimes I tried too hard to be upbeat for fear that I might lose control somehow. And then there were those functions that I knew my ex-husband or separated husband was going to be attending as well. Our exchanges were usually limited to simple pleasantries. A nod, a half-smile and then I hurried on to find some group to attach myself to. Going in to a party alone is difficult enough in the beginning. When you are part of a couple, you can exchange reassurances to each other. But when I was in those early stages of divorce, I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb. I worried about how I looked. I wondered if everyone thought I was “dumb and boring and dull” like my husband did. Social gatherings were a challenge in perseverance and fortitude just to get through the evening. And I almost always cried on the way home. “He” always seemed to be having such a good time, and if his girlfriend was with him, she seemed especially bright and charming. But if I had stopped for a moment even before I rang the doorbell, or entered the room and thought to myself, “I am a worthy child of God; He can use me in this gathering; I can shine his light at this party; He can use me to show people that a ‘life of doing right is the best life;’” I could have saved my self a lot of heartache. I would have seen myself as a capable, beautiful spirit-filled ambassador of God himself, instead of a woman who was completely caught up in what other people were thinking about me. Just like the proper young ladies of old: let’s all pause and consider our relation to the people in the room. (They are all fellow-strugglers looking for encouragement of their own.) Then we should consider our obligations (to be God’s light). With those things firmly in mind, I have a feeling that “companionship and our own interests” will fall into place as well. We might even surprisingly have some real honest-to-goodness fun!
"For I have redeemed you and have called you by name and you are mine, says the Lord."
Jeremiah
