R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts
“Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.” – Karl Barth, theologian
During much of the early part of my midlife divorce recovery journey, laughter was in short supply. Nothing seemed funny. In fact, everything seemed tragic. The smallest things could bring me to tears. Slowly, slowly, slowly I recognized that laughter is a great healer. I had heard all my life that: “laughter is good for the soul.” “Laughter is good medicine. A sad countenance dries up the bones.” Norman Cousins in his famous study of humor and healing got pain relief from watching funny movies. He said laughter is like “internal jogging.” Anne Lamott calls it “carbonated holiness.” Woody Allen, who has fallen out of my favor in his later years, says, “I am thankful for laughter except when milk comes out of my nose.” I remember something to the effect, “Laughter is wisdom only faster.” It seems to be the consensus of religious, cultural, comedic opinion that laughter is indeed good for us. So today, whenever you can, find something to laugh about. Rent a funny movie. Get some CDs of old I Love Lucy shows or Johnny Carson shows or even Mayberry or Mash reruns. Borrow your grandkids for the day or get a joke book or a cartoon book. Make light of your situation occasionally. For example, early on in my divorce, I found that when someone asked how things were going and I said something like, “All I can say is he’s lucky to be alive and I’m lucky I’m not in jail.” that brought a sigh of relief for me and for my listeners. They were relieved I wasn’t going to start crying, and I was relieved to be able to be a little lighthearted about the whole thing, as tragic as it was. Life is full of problems. The sooner we can see even a little humor in our situation, the better off we’ll be. Just a note: Don’t go overboard. If you are faking it and being too funny and humorous and upbeat about the whole thing, your friends and acquaintances will go away saying, “I wonder what she’s on?” Divorce, per se, is not funny. But, if you’re honest, there are some funny situations that occur on the journey. And, if you try you can find some things to laugh about even in this. Try it. Laugh at something today. See if you don’t feel better after you do. I have seen stories about Laugh Clubs. I haven’t been to one, but I would like to go just to see what it’s like. Just thinking about a whole room-full of people laughing makes me sort of chuckle inside.
“Our mouths are filled with laughter and our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them.’ The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!” ~Psalm 126: 2-3 (NIV)
