R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

“There are three billion women who don’t look like super models and only eight who do.” ~Ad for the Body Shop found in the book When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair by Geneen Roth

The above quote was taken from the chapter entitled “About the Activity Formerly Known As Exercise.” This is a funny book about a serious topic … how we translate our body image into completely inappropriate behaviors like binging & purging, constant dieting, obsession with food and other unhealthy lifestyles or just a constant discontent about how we look. Ms. Roth’s book’s subtitle is 50 Ways to Feel Thin, Gorgeous, and Happy (When You Feel Anything But). During a divorce, but especially a midlife divorce, the normal reaction is to feel “not enough.” During the early stages of my own journey, I felt like I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, sexy enough, spiritual enough. I felt fat and ugly and dumb. In the meantime, my ex-husband was having an affair with a skinny blonde, and then married another skinny blonde and that added to my angst. Remember this -- I am not fat. I am well within all of the tables of acceptable weight. I am a normal middle-aged woman. In Geneen’s book she talks about the “E” word. She first decided that she would not use the “E” word in her book, because women with eating issues said not to. They mostly all told her that they didn’t like the forced, “whip yourself into shape” mentality of treadmill running that reminds some of us of a hamster cage torture machine. They told her that berating them and prodding them made them feel like they weren’t good enough. So she changed her tactics. In her workshops she gets women to think, instead, about their amazing bodies, no matter what the size. She points out that “When we are not moving our bodies we are depriving ourselves of knowing our own loveliness.” We are the spirit of God clothed in human flesh and blood and bones. Look at children. They run everywhere. They do cartwheels. They ride their bikes or trikes as fast as they can. They climb trees. They play on the playground equipment. They intuitively understand that we are marvelously made and we are made to move! We aren’t made to sit and stagnate on the couch or in front of the refrigerator. You can’t truly appreciate who you are until you use that body you have been blessed with to stand up straight, to walk proud, to be fit and strong. Go ahead! Turn up the music and dance in your kitchen. Put your arms above your head. Find something fun to do. Get outside and do it. Hike. Walk your dog. Do whatever pleases you with your magnificent body. Don’t strap yourself to the treadmill if you don’t want to. Don’t beat yourself up for not following through on your “get-this-fat, ugly-body-in-shape-resolution.” Take pleasure in just moving your body as often as you can, as fast as you can for as long as you can. Before you know it, you will be strong and powerful physically, and your spiritual self will thank you too. They are a partnership. Body and soul are both made to play and dance and skip, and it’s hard for one to do those things without the other.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” ~ Psalm 139:14 (NIV)