R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

“Suffering isn’t ennobling, recovery is.” ~ Christiaan Barnard (Performed the first heart transplant)

A midlife divorce causes us to suffer. Suffer big time. Divorce brings a wailing, crying, sobbing, moaning, despairing, agonizing numb kind of suffering. We can’t get around that. We have to go through that. In fact, if we don’t go through the suffering with all of its pain, we don’t really reap the rewards of recovery. The quote by Dr. Barnard above was taken from a book’s chapter entitled “Avoid Self Pity.” Another quote in that same section says, “What poison is to food, self-pity is to life.” I agree with Dr. Barnard. Recovery is what makes anything we go through a refining process. If we don’t recover, the suffering was for nothing. We essentially, die. Even though all of us in divorce recovery have to spend a little time in that dark forest of “Why me? This isn’t fair! I’ve tried to live right! Is this what I get?”; If we stay in that awful place of self-pity, nothing whatsoever is gained. If we know in our hearts from the outset that we will survive and that God has promised that we will not only survive, but we will gain an amazing victory, we can view our suffering in a different way. We can recover. We can not only recover, but also have a new and glorious appreciation for our stronger and brighter life. Just like Christian Barnard puts a new physical heart in a person, God puts a new spiritual heart within us if we trust him through our suffering …. a heart of joy and peace and more love than we know what to do with. Just make sure you recover … and see what happens next. You’ll be amazed!

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
—Romans 8:35-39 (NIV)