R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

“I was really upset. I was staying up all night drinking white wine, crying, and watching those stupid infomercials on TV. Then I got the idea to start ordering whatever I saw on TV and sending it to Gary. I sent him all kinds of commemorative Elvis plates, weird kitchen gadgets, ugly knickknacks, and soft rock CDs. I also started signing him up for these women’s craft magazines (that are virtually impossible to cancel) …” from She’s just THAT into you … the No excuses truth about women’s obsessions with men by Linda Sunshine.

I have quoted this book above once before. It’s that book I got for $1. Some of the stuff in the Ms. Sunshine’s book is definitely not worth reading. However, it is a funny look at a sad state of affairs …. Or a sad look at a funny state of affairs --- namely the ridiculous things we do during a midlife divorce to try to hold on to – or get revenge on -- someone who has definitely moved on. The point of the story above is that this woman followed through on a prank that ended up costing her a fortune and probably didn’t affect him in the slightest. Well, maybe it did cause some inconvenience for him … and he might have actually laughed about it or told his girlfriend or his friends about it. At least when we do something crazy like this (and who of us hasn’t?!) it temporarily makes us feel better. However, in reality it usually makes us look ridiculous and like we are absolutely falling apart without “him.” The truth is, we probably are falling apart at times. But we’ve got to get over that. We’ve got to stand up, put our shoulders back, lift our chin and let him go and not look back. Revenge never works. That’s God’s job. When we try to avenge the wrongs done to us, we usually just look foolish and weak and pathetic. The best revenge we can get is to turn the situation completely over to God to do his stuff and then let him do it. Don’t keep trying to do something yourself. Don’t try to make your ex feel bad or feel guilty or look bad. (And please understand, I tried some of those useless things. I did things that were as ridiculous as the story above.) From experience, trying to get revenge yourself DOES NOT WORK! Give it up. The best revenge is being confident, being kind, having fun, being good, being totally above his bad behavior. And by the way, I wouldn’t want to be on his end of bargain before God.

“Never pay back evil for evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honest clear through. Don’t quarrel with anyone. Be at peace with everyone, just as much as possible. Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it. – Don’t take the law into your own hands.”
Romans 12:17-19 (The Living Bible)