R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

“… you are what is commonly referred to as In a Hole. If you could find an actual hole deep enough and dark enough you would happily crawl off into it and sever all ties with life as you know it. But don’t you do it. Snivel a little and then have a fair-sized medicinal snack, and then get over it.” ~The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love

In a Hole is a perfect description of where you are in some parts of the midlife divorce process. All of us who have gone through or are going through a divorce have been In a Hole. In a crater. In a pit. In a funk. Depressed. Whatever you want to call our desire to disappear from life for a while. There’s no avoiding the fact that sometimes we will have “a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day,” or week or month or year. Tammy (A Sweet Potato Queen) describes one woman’s experience like this: … “She crawled through life for months and months and spent all kinds of money on therapists trying to figure out what happened (he dumped her) and why (he was a squirrel), and what she could do about it (not a damn thing).” If your ex-husband decided he wanted someone else or some other life, and you did everything you could to make your marriage work, and he left anyway, you have two choices. Get over it …. Or not. I am living proof that you can absolutely get over it, and you can have a life that is full of REAL joy, fun and gladness and all kinds of other amazingly wonderful things. So, go have a big fat brownie with ice cream and hot fudge sauce on it … and then crawl out of that hole and find the joy God has been preparing for you all along.

“Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy.” ~Psalm 30:4b