R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts
"Personal ads are dangerous. You have to separate the ones who are lying from the ones who are hallucinating." ~ Rita Rudner
Okay, it's the first 'back to real life' day after the holidays. Most of us will head back to work today. New Year's Eve and New Year's Day is over, and now we have to start living out those resolutions we made. The most common resolutions are Lose Weight and Get Organized. For women going through midlife divorce recovery, our list of goals for 2008 might include starting to think about dating again. This point usually doesn't come for a year or two after your divorce and for some even longer. But for those of us in midlife, somehow we feel the passage of time more acutely than those who are younger. I had ridiculous thoughts like, "if I get much older, NO one will want to get in a relationship with me." That's absolutely not true and I can't emphasize enough that you need to get yourself emotionally healthy before you should even think about another relationship. If you're not there yet, just file this blog away for future reference. For some, online chatting has been a good way to start. But, honestly, you have to be very, very careful. Don't give out personal, private information that you do not want someone else to have. (like your address!) When I first told my adult children that I had met someone online they just rolled their eyes and made me promise not to get in the car with anyone I had met online. They said, "What if he is some serial killer just preying on lonely divorced women?!" They were kidding (sort of), but they were right to be cautious and you definitely should be too. Remember, "personal ads" online need to be taken with a grain of salt. Don't make plans to even meet someone until you have spent a little time communicating online. And then, meet in a public place. Don't go in a car with anyone until you are confident they are who they say they are in their on-line personal ads. And even then, don't put too much stock in what they write. Silver tongues are out there everywhere. However, there are good men out there who are seriously looking for a relationship with someone like you. If you decide to try the online thing, take your time. Have fun. "Listen" between the lines to weed out anyone who is lying or hallucinating. Above all be careful! But who knows, you might meet someone wonderful like I did.
"The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful." ~ Proverbs 12:22
