R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"There are only two remedies for the suffering soul: hope and patience." Pythagorus

Christmas is the season of joy. Or at least it's supposed to be. For everyone else it seems to be. But because it is supposed to be the season of joy, the loss of joy at this time of year feels even more devastating. In the middle of divorce you experience every loss more acutely. It's like your sadness sensors are working overtime. I used to get incredibly sad to see Christmas cards with smiling, happy, whole families on them. Or couples shopping together. If you are in the first few Christmases after divorce, there will be sadness. There will be tears. There will be a real, tangible ache in your heart. But there can also be a quiet joy. And it's a deeper joy, a more solid joy, a joy that goes beyond externals. This experience can empower you to build a new hope. You can develop a new faith. Faith is the "expectation of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." Hope says that this feeling will not last forever. Hope is the understanding that with time, your life will be good again. And not just "sort of" good. But really good. Troubles make us learn to develop this muscle of hope and they make us learn a new patience. Troubles make us more compassionate and more understanding and they teach us the lessons of confidence in the face of disappointment. Learn these lessons of patience. Find the courage to embrace hope. And the new joy you find will be deep and full and brighter than a star.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." ~Romans 12:12