R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"Self-esteem is that deep-down inside the skin feeling you have of your own self-worth." ~Dennis Waitley

Sometimes when we are struggling through midlife divorce recovery, we are struggling mostly with issues of self-esteem. Never is your self-esteem at a lower point than when the person you have shared your life with decides for some reason that he doesn't want you any more or love you any more or that he suddenly thinks someone else is a lot more fun or a lot smarter or more beautiful. That kind of rejection temporarily makes you wonder if you ARE worth anything. I know during my divorce I felt unsure of myself as a woman. I felt timid and embarrassed and afraid to be myself because I wondered if "myself" was worth anything. All I can say is that it's nice to have hugs and reassurances and compliments from others. But our self-esteem does not come from outside. It comes from knowing our intrinsic value as a precious child of God, made in the image of God and created for his amazing, eternal purposes. Some old schools of thought taught that people would have self-esteem if we just told them they were wonderful enough times without requiring any actions or thinking on their part. Self esteem comes from being a person of integrity and honesty and kindness and purpose. The self-esteem comes on it's own from us doing the right things and being the right kind of person. God put within each one of us a sense of our own self-worth because we are his unique, lovely creation. Our self-esteem doesn't depend upon anyone or anything except acting in a way that reflects that reality.

"How precious it is Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can't even count how many times a day your thoughts turn towards me. And when I waken in the morning, you are still thinking of me!" ~Psalm 139:17-18