R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"Not to explain or complain is possibly the best advice that could be given to anyone. At the very least do not supply the rocks that will be thrown at you." from Normal Is Just A Setting On The Dryer by Adair Lara

In the middle of a divorce, (especially an unexpected, unwanted, midlife divorce), doing anything without arguing or complaining is very very difficult. At some stages in the divorce process it feels like you are arguing about absolutely everything and then complaining that things are not fair, that he is being selfish and ridiculous, that the courts do not treat women fairly, that his family is not behaving like they should and on and on and on and on. Add on the top of arguing and complaining comes the explaining. For awhile, I felt compelled to explain to everyone why I was getting a divorce. I would tell people: "I didn't want this. I hate this. He has a girl friend he won't give up. He wouldn't be honest in counseling. He sneaks away and meets her whenever he can. He has just completely lost his mind..." an on and on and on. Just for today, lets try to live this one day without arguing, explaining or complaining about anything that has to do with our divorce. Or about anything PERIOD. It's hard, but let's try it. Our friends and family and aquaintances will probably breathe a huge sigh of relief. And believe it or not, it will be good for us, too. I repeat: Let's consciously train our mind today to not argue about, complain about or explain one single thing about our divorce today (or about anything). As soon as you start to fall into that mode, say something positive or uplifting instead. Let's do an experiment for this one day and just see if it's possible (we know it's possible) or more importantly, if it does any good. I think we'll all be pleasantly surprised. Amazed might be a better word. (And I'm sure everyone around us will be exceedingly greatful to have a break as well!)

"Do everything without complaining and arguing."
Philippians 2:14