R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts
"“You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.”
Homer Simpson
During midlife divorce recovery, It's easy to keep trying to figure out what you did wrong. All I can say is "QUIT THAT!" Don't blame yourself. No one is perfect. We aren't. Our ex-husbands aren't. (Although I did come across a book one time entitled, 'Some men are more perfect than others.' In our case, maybe some men are LESS perfect than others!) So what? Your ex-husband made choices. You made choices. We all have to live with the choices we make. But moping around with your head down and shuffling your feet does not do any good. Even if you did things you wish you hadn't. Apologize for them. Ask forgiveness for them if you need to. THEN, as Homer (And the Apostle Paul) say, "...move on!" Paul harrassed Christians. Paul imprisoned good people. Paul held the coats of the men who were stoning a young man to death. For Paul to be able to say, with confidence, "I am so sorry about all of that. I ask for forgiveness for all of that. I wish I could change all of that, but I can't. All I can do is to spend the rest of my life looking forward to what lies ahead." That's all any of us can do. All of us have made mistakes and done things we wish we hadn't done. Most of the time we were doing the very best we could. But the best thing we can do is to make the rest of our life the best of our life in every way. We have control of that. Admit mistakes if you need to. Face the consequences if you must. Do better next time. But don't live a weak, sad life of regret and remorse. The fact that God has promised total forgiveness makes it possible to move on. So quit whipping yourself (or anyone else) and just go forward ... and do it joyfully!
"No, dear ones, I am still not all I should be but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us ..."
Apostle Paul in his letter to the Philippians
