R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts
"The irony of self-deception is that a cynic is less vulnerable to self-deception than a conscientious person. The greater the integrity of the person, and the more powerful the contrary inclination, the greater the temptation to self-deception. What the self-deceiver lacks is not integrity or sincerity but the courage and skill to confront the reality of his or her situation." Stanley Hauerwas - Truthfulness and Tragedy: Further Investigations in Christian Ethics
I had to read the quote above several times to make much sense of it. My practical, thoughtful brother sent it yesterday along with the comment that when I was going through everything that led up to my divorce, I was deceiving myself about a lot of things. I kept trying to make the marriage work. I kept excusing behavior that was unacceptable. I was, in fact, deceiving myself by blaming the other woman and pretending that eventually things would be okay if I just tried harder. I wanted my marriage to work. For a while, I was willing to compromise my own sense of self (and God's sense of rightness) to make it work. My brother also mentioned that the Radical Recovery Book encourages women to stop deceiving ourselves about our marriage and instead to face it's reality, however hard that is. "What's great about your community of R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women is that you aren't trying to just 'feel better' about the situation, but you are developing the tools and skills to face reality head on, and use that reality to build a better life." God honors our efforts to try harder, and love more and do better. But he rewards us when we stand up to the truth of our situation. Living a life of pretension, lies and deception never brings us the joy we deserve, but God promises he will help us grow and blossom in light of and in spite of whatever reality we face.
"Don't be misled (deceived): No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others --ignoring God--harvests a crop of weeds!"
Galatians 6:7 (The Message)
