R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"Focus on what you are moving toward rather than what you are leaving behind."
Alan Cohen

A midlife divorce is full of things you have to leave behind. And when you are in the middle of that, it is hard to see anything but the losses. Separating your stuff, giving up things you love, selling your house, loosing symphony tickets, giving up traditions ... all those dozens of huge and tiny losses that you have to bear and grieve. My only advice after being through it myself is to grieve those losses in the way you need to. And the grieving is worse than terrible. It's pure agony and pain. But once that grieving is done, your next step is to focus on what lies ahead. That's not going to happen in a day. You grieve the things as you face them, and some of them don't show up immediately. But eventually you still have to start looking ahead. There is absolutely no other choice except to move ahead. And move ahead joyfully. God has something wonderful planned for the rest of your life. Believe that! It's a promise! You may not see it now, but if we are growing like we should our best life can ALWAYS be ahead of us. You can embrace all of the good that came from your past, and then carry those good things into your future. It's in this new awakening to the present and the bright future that you are learning one of life's most precious and powerful lessons. You can always move forward with joy ... I mean REAL joy! You can look forward with invigorating joyful anticipation, no matter what you are leaving behind. The people who really have the light shining within them are not the ones who have not suffered, but the ones who have learned that the focus of life is not the pain. It is continually moving toward a new joy.

" ... I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead ..."
Philippians 3:13b (The Living Bible)