R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"Simply getting through each next moment of boot camp will consume all their mental and physical energies."
Thomas E. Ricks in "Making the Corps"

When you are struggling through the early days of a midlife divorce, every minute seems long and hard. Hours are unbearable. At times, it seems as if every waking moment is spent just hoping to make it through to the next moment. For someone who has not been through it, that sounds melodramatic. That sounds like an exaggeration. But for me, it was the truth. My mind and my heart was consumed with trying to get through this life-changing ordeal with any sort of grace at all. From what I've heard, grief is like that in the early stages. Grief in the beginning is survival. Like the unbelievable physical and mental challenges of marine boot camp. And personally I think the mental and spiritual and emotional struggles are worse than the physical ones. That's why women going through a midlife divorce can think of almost nothing else. I know we all have to work and tend to our daily obligations, but those things at times are just our bodies going through the motions. All the real life focus is under the surface and constant ... the divorce and all it means. But though I can remember all of that, I want to reassure you that that the heart-wrenching, visceral pain does end. It takes time. It consumes most of your mental and physical energy for awhile just like boot camp. But then, eventually the dark, dull grieving eases. The dawn begins to bring that little edge of light. Joy shows it face again. And then it breaks through full blast. Full force. Beautiful and real and brighter than the noon day sun! You can do this. God will give you strength. And your new life will be full and glorious ... maybe for the first time ever.

"I can do all things through him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:13