R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish."
Euripides

I don't know about you, but I've done some pretty ridiculous, foolish things through this midlife divorce ordeal. Often it was in response to some ridiculous, foolish thing my ex-husband had done or said. Instead of calmly and quietly removing myself from the particular situation or conversation, I allowed myself to be engaged by it. In my newsletter on the RadicalWomenNetwork.com I have a special place reserved for "Mind Bogglers -- Ridiculous Things He Said." This month's Mind Boggler is the oft-heard comment ... "This is not about you." (Let's see, then, whom would it be about? Hmm?) My problem was that I thought if I just did or said exactly the right thing, he would come to his senses or he would see the folly of his ways or he would realize what a terrible thing he was doing. I eventually realized that nothing I said ... nothing I did ... could change the path he had decided on. Tears didn't. Shouting didn't. Letters didn't. Prayers didn't. But, still, he would make some absolutely ridiculous comment and I would respond ... and in the end, I looked as foolish as he did by giving his arguments any stage at all. He is doing destructive, foolish things. He's on a destructive, foolish road. Don't take that trip with him. You have better places to go, and there will be fools enough along the way to keep him company.


"Don't respond to the stupidity of a fool; you'll only look foolish yourself."
Proverbs 26:4 (The Message)