R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"And we have another choice --to accept what we didn't get to choose."
Sue Bender - Plain and Simple Wisdom

Most of you reading this did not want to be divorced. Most of us did not choose it. Most of us did everything we could to keep it from happening. As I've said in this blog before, I went through the process of divorce kicking and sobbing and screaming. But it happened anyway. It wasn't until I calmed down and finally stood alone in the middle of my kitchen and said to myself, "Okay, as much as I didn't want it, this IS my life now. I am a middle-aged divorced woman. What am I going to do now?" A psychologist friend of mine said to me, "Do not fight what you inevitably must do." I inevitably had to come to grips with the fact that I was divorced. When I faced that fact, I didn't give up, but I stopped fighting where I was and started making plans for the rest of my life. I'm not saying I liked doing that. But it changed my perception. It made me stop concentrating on battles I could not change or could not win, to focusing on my life. My new life. My new plans. My new hopes. Even though that change in battle tactics doesn't always happen overnight, it is a significant turning point ... a mandatory turning point. I had one huge advantage. I believe that God really does have a plan for my life that is wonderful. Even though I thought early on that I knew what was best, his promise of having a plan for me that was full of hope and a bright, shining future has turned out to be just a breathtaking fulfillment in reality. Don't give up TO despair. Give up your despair to a new, shimmering hope. You'll look back and be amazed.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)