R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"Asking for help calls on your faith ... asking for support involves trusting ... asking for miracles is instinctive and can be nourished."
SARK, author, artist, incest survivor

During a midlife divorce we all need help. But we are sometimes hesitant to ask for what we need, outright. We think people know what we need. We are sometimes disappointed when people don't make the effort to be more supportive. But often, all we need to do is ask. And I'll admit, sometimes that's hard to do. It takes practice. Asking for help is admitting we need help, and as women, that sometimes feels like an admission that we're weak or incapable or dependent. Asking for help when we need it is actually a strength. Everyone needs help sometime. Everyone can use support now and then. It's not a permanent situation where we are asking someone to prop us up forever. I discovered that people were more than willing to help if I simply, straightforwardly asked for what I needed. A bank president gave me a $20,000 loan that I needed until a payment came through after the divorce was finalized. A client agreed to giving me an extra weekend to work on a project. A friend let me stay with her because I told her I needed to just get away from my everyday surroundings. Don't be embarrassed to ask. And while you are at it, learn to boldly ask God for what you need. His response is sure. However, be aware of the fact that what you think you want might not be what is best for your life. I asked God boldly for things that were almost miraculously were fulfilled. But I also asked for specific things that I did not get. This is my take on that. I think God listens to our prayers and takes what we ask for (what we think we want) and turns it into what we really need. In my case he answered my prayers in ways so much better than I could have asked for. That's where the "Thy will be done" comes in. I always tell God what my human self wants, but I always say, too, "I can't see into the future, I don't know what I really need, so I am going to trust that in your infinite wisdom and love you will give me what will bring the most good into my life and the most glory to you." And, you know what, I have had some of the most incredible answers to prayer. Specific, undeniable, exact answers and then answers that were so far better than what I asked for I still can't believe it. So ask in faith. Ask boldly and bravely. Then let go and see what happens.

"Ask and you will be given what you ask for. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Anyone who seeks, finds. If only you will knock, the door will open."
Matthew 7:7-8