R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."
Mary Pickford

When I was going through the darkest days of my divorce, my family was such a strength to me. My mom gave me a little book called, 'Believe In Yourself!" from which the quote above was taken. She had added her own comments to every page. On this page she wrote "Stand up and brush yourself off and start over!!" I thought to myself, "I didn't FALL down, I was PUSHED!" I was pushed down, pushed away, pushed over, pushed out ... It's not fair, I was pushed down!" Regardless of whether I fell or was pushed, the reality was that I was down. I could either stay down and be mad and sad and say how unfair it all was, how heartless and cruel it was, how much it hurt. Or I could stand up. It doesn't really matter in the end how we got down; we are the ones who have to get up. We have friends, family, church, support groups to help, but nothing they do will make us take responsibility for ourselves. WE have to do that. They can help us to our feet, but we make the decision to stand. All of us stayed down for awhile. I didn't seem to have the power, will or energy to get up at first even with all the help. God didn't send his angels down to pick me up ... but in looking back, I think he was continually creating a "new heart" within me ... a new determination ... and people to help along the way. None of us jumped joyfully up. We struggled up. We crawled to our knees. We took those first faltering steps. And sometimes, still we find ourselves down again. The point is, you have to get up. You have to keep getting up. Pretty soon it becomes a challenge ... a determination ... and we begin to stick out our jaw and say, "This will not defeat me!" And we get stronger. And more in control. And happier. And before long we have a better, more powerful, more fulfilling life than ever. Then we start helping others to their feet.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Psalm 51:10-12