R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thoughts

"Don't assume that everyone can be your friend. Five close friends who are in it for the long haul are worth a hundred acquaintances."
Adair Lara, author of NORMAL is just a SETTING on the DRYER

Five is a fairly high number for close friends. I read a study that says now if you have one or two really close friends, you are fortunate. Friendship takes commitment and time and energy, but having and being a friend is not only one of life's great pleasures, but it is a survival tool as well. When we are feeling weak and discouraged and depressed, a friend can mean all the difference in the world. During divorce some of our friendships change. Couple friends often don't know quite what to do. They are usually trying to be loyal to both of you. They probably don't know the real story of what happened, so they try not to take sides, and sometimes they hesitate to call either of you. Some call both. However, our true friends ... our friends that we can call at 2 in the morning are the ones to hang on to and cultivate. It may be a sister or brother. It may be a neighbor. It may be someone at church. Sometimes you develop a new friend in a support group through this shared suffering. Let them help. Tell them you need their support. Be honest. You won't be this needy forever, but you are right at first. One of the first R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women had a friend who came and helped get her children off to school every morning. Friends of mine sent cards and called and met me for coffee. But remember, often you have to ask. Sometimes you have to make the first move.
And don't forget to BE a friend when you can. Your suffering will make you more sensitive to the struggles of others.

"Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel."
Proverbs 27:9